The company that makes the dividers between the stalls in the bathroom at my office is called Hiny Hiders. Quite possibly the single greatest company name of all time. I genuinely appreciate that they just went right for it with their name choice.
It makes me stop and think though. I wonder what their board meeting was like when they were coming up with the name for their company...
"Ok, now that we have the funding to start mass producing these stall dividers, I think the only thing left is to come up with an official name for them. I was thinking Divider Providers. What do you guys think?"
"That's a terrible name, Jim. We just need to come right out and embrace what we really are. How about Butt Blockers, Inc.?"
"Ok...I think I like where you're going with that, but it seems a little harsh. How about Private Mates?"
"Uhhh...I don't know. It honestly sounds kind of gay to me. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I was thinking Whiz Palace, LLC."
"Hmmm...let's definitely put that one up on the board...whiz...palace...ok...anyone else?"
"Shitter shields??"
"Alright! Now we're really cooking with Crisco!"
"Wanker walls?"
"Damn it, Brian! Absolutely not. It sounds like we're in the business of masturbation. Are we in the business of masturbation, Brian??"
"No, sir."
"Friggin' Brian."
"Okay...where were we? We have Whiz Palace, LLC and Shitter Shields. Anyone else?? Other than Brian?"
"What about Hiny Hiders? It's to the point, yet classy."
"I think we have a winner! What does everyone think? Hiny Hiders?"
"I've got another one...what about Butt Blockers?"
"God damn it, Brian!! Are you even paying attention?? Rebecca said that like 2 minutes ago!! Who even invited you to this meeting?? I hope you get hit by a thousand busses!! I hate you and I hope 100 years from now all of your great grandchildren have their eyeballs popped out of their heads with rusty spoons and then their lifeless heads are used to sexually pleasure an alien race with enormous dicks!"
"Hiny Hiders it is!"
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