It was one of my favorite school days of the year - the eye and ear test. Sure, we had assembly's and field day...those were fine and dandy. But I always felt like the hearing test and eye exam were my time to shine.
I was convinced that I would dominate both the eye and ear exam to such an extent that the school nurse would stop everything, call the principal in, and whisper into his ear, "This kid has super powers." And then they would take me away to a school for kids with special powers, and I would be groomed to harness my abilities. But it never happened. Probably because such a school didn't exist, because it certainly wasn't my fault. I aced the hell out of those things.
When we got to school, there would be a bunch of chairs lined up against the wall just outside of nurses office. That's how you knew it was the big day. As other kids would sit there, I would whisper little things to them, just to see if they were on my level. They weren't. They would give me weird looks, but I'm pretty sure it was because they were trying to hear what I was saying and they couldn't. Because they didn't have super-hearing like me.
The eye exam was so easy, it was honestly a joke. Any clown can have 20/20 vision. I could have read the first few lines of the eye exam chart with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back. The bottom lines were even a walk in the park. When I got to the very bottom line, I would keep reading things below it, telling them what year the chart was made and who the manufacturer was. That's how good I was. I had 20/10 vision. You read that right. It gets better than 20/20, and I'm living proof.
I'm honestly surprised they didn't make me wear glasses to make my vision worse, just to try to level the playing field for everyone else. I was 8 years old and I was basically Spiderman, minus the ability to fling webs out of my wrists. We're talking Spidey-senses all over the place. There were times at recess where I could tell if someone was going to fall off the monkey bars moments before it happened all the way from the other side of the playground. But I wouldn't do anything about it, because it was usually a kid that I didn't like and I wanted to see them fall.
With great power comes great responsibility, and I was not a responsible kid. I'm barely even a responsible adult.
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